You Don’t Know How to Receive Love… That’s Why You Keep Destroying It

You think you want love... but every time it gets too close, you fucking detonate it... sabotage it... spit in its face and run. And you don’t even know why. You blame her. You blame work. You blame your past. But deep down... you’re terrified. Not of being hurt. That already happened a long time ago... you’re terrified of being seen. Truly, nakedly, soul-level seen... and still being loved. Because if someone sees the real you... and then leaves? That confirms the lie you’ve believed since you were a boy: you’re unlovable. So you protect yourself... by staying alone... even in a relationship. You keep them at arm's length. Push them away with anger, silence, workaholism, sarcasm, porn, distraction, judgment, emotional constipation. You don’t let her in... not really. You give her the surface version. The curated, armored version. The man who can lead a team, close a deal, crush a goal... but can’t say "I need you" without choking on the shame.

That was me. Jason Plevell. The Obstacle Remover. But for most of my life, I was the obstacle. I wore masks so well I forgot they weren’t my face. I dated incredible women and then found microscopic flaws to justify bailing. I cheated. I lied. I ghosted. I manipulated. I told myself they were too clingy, too needy, too boring... but the truth? They loved me. And that felt like acid on my skin. Because I didn’t love me. I didn’t even know me. I knew how to conquer. I knew how to seduce. I knew how to fuck. But I didn’t know how to receive. I didn’t know how to soften... how to let love in without making it a transaction or a threat. And that lack of knowing? It cost me.

It cost me my peace. My relationships. My integrity. It almost cost me my life. And if you’re still reading this? It’s probably costing you too. Because you don’t push her away because she’s wrong for you. You push her away because she’s too right. She sees through your bullshit. She touches a part of you that never got touched. She makes you feel safe and dangerous all at once. And you don’t have the tools to regulate that chaos inside. Your nervous system is screaming "Abort mission!" because it thinks love equals danger. Love equals exposure. Love equals weakness. So you unconsciously destroy it... to stay safe. But safety isn't freedom. It's a cage. A padded, numbed-out, porn-ridden, weed-smoked, whiskey-laced prison. And the key isn't fixing her. It’s facing you.

Here’s the truth I had to swallow like a mouthful of broken glass: I didn’t push people away because they were too much. I pushed them away because I felt like not enough. And that not-enoughness was inherited... downloaded from parents, teachers, coaches, culture. It wasn't mine. But I carried it like gospel. I wore it like armor. And it kept me from love. Because when you believe you're not worthy of love... you treat every loving gesture as a threat. You find ways to sabotage the good... to confirm the bad. It’s a trauma loop. You reject before you can be rejected. You abandon before you can be abandoned. You break their heart before they ever get the chance to break yours. You call it strength. You call it standards. But it’s fear. Deep, suffocating fear that you don’t want to name.

So how do you break it? You fucking feel it. You stop running. You let the pain surface. You let the shame breathe. You stop outsourcing your healing to women, to business, to dopamine. You sit in the fire. You do the nervous system work. You get Emotionally Jacked. You learn to regulate. To receive. To open. You create safety inside so you don’t keep chasing or rejecting it outside. For me... it started with one brutal realization: I didn’t trust love. Because I didn’t trust myself. And rebuilding that trust? That was the real work. That was the rep I needed. That was the lift I couldn’t skip. I had to show up for myself in the moments I wanted to run. I had to stay... when every cell in my body screamed escape.

And I promise you this... the second you learn to receive... the second you allow love in without trying to fix it or fuck it or flee from it... everything changes. Your woman feels it. Your kids feel it. Your clients feel it. You feel it. You stop performing. You start leading. You start breathing again. You don’t have to push love away anymore. You don’t have to live in a constant state of defense. You get to be free. But you have to choose it. You have to feel to heal. You have to surrender to win. You have to stop waiting for her to prove you’re lovable... and start proving it to yourself. That’s the key. That’s the call.

Here’s what I want you to do today: Text the person you’ve been pushing away. Say the thing you’re most afraid to say. Not because they deserve it... but because you do. Sit with the discomfort. Breathe through the shame. And if you want to learn how to stop sabotaging love... for good... I made you something. Go to https://calendly.com/theobstacleremover/discovery and book a call. Or hit https://theobstacleremover.com/store and grab the Nervous System Guide. Your legacy depends on this.